Lyall Fraser

So where do I start........... lets start with two grannies, for me that was the beginning.

My earliest memories were this beginning. I had one on the hill and one at the bottom of the hill. On the hill is where my Granny lived. On the hill things were different, there were more rules, vicious dogs, afternoon naps and the first tastes of consequence.

It was one of my fondest memories having my two grannies so close. I could run between both of them though I mainly lived at the bottom of the hill. On many occasions one could see dust on the field between the two houses, this was me making a quick escape when things got a bit wild up on the hill.

I remembered there were always people at the house on the hill, familiar faces, people having discussions, Grandpa in the room and my cousins around. I understand now all the movement at that house.

Granny made sure we napped at that house, it was the bane of my existence and I resisted it sneaking out of bed trying to continue playing. I'm sure however it was the source of the significant pace I cultivated from a young age. If she got hold of you it was over, what over meant is not for here. Uncle Themba was slower than me. Keep someone slower than you close always in every situation trust me.

Granny was very strict hence I called her Mrs Fraser till I was 6 years old, so things were very formal for a while. She was your Granny from day one and that's what you called her.

Both my Grannies looked after myself and your aunty, who you call "Yanda". This was due to your Gogo and Gum Gum still living in England.

As I got older I understood Granny a little more. You knew she loved you, you understood the meaning behind the discipline. You understood why there was always something to do while you were there and why she said there is no substitute for hardwork.

I have many memories of sitting in the back of a bakkie being driven by Uncle Mervin to places around the Western Cape with Granny. I was dressed as father Christmas and was delivering presents to schools for kids that were less fortunate. This at some point Malachi you will have to do, when the time is right.

These kids would sit on my lap some of them really not much younger than myself and tell me what they would want for Christmas. All I could do was give them the gift we brought, which was much more than they had.

For me at the time it was just something Granny asked me to do, now I understand the significance and the impact she had and the small part I played through her. There is always a big picture Malachi and when you are old enough you get to see it. I remember moving back to Cape Town in 1998 and coming from playing rugby in Pretoria to a school that only had soccer, I needed soccer boots.

Granny took me to get those boots my parents gave the money and off we went. I think your Gogo and Gum gum were happy for me to get some new boots. Granny had a different view. Her view was lets not waste money, I was playing rugby we don't know if I can play soccer. She took me to a second hand store and bought me a pair of Olympic soccer boots.

These boots were probably R59 brand new in the shop at the time and for good reason.

I won't disclose how much that second hand pair cost, but that whoever owned them first seemed to bare most of their weight on the inside of their feet. I played a game and Granny came to watch, her words were " jy kan dan speel Lyall".

I never got the new boots that year but what I did get was a supporter that tried to watch as much as she could whenever I ran out on to a field and this went on till I finished high school. But after that I appreciated any shoe or boot that I got and made sure I looked after them, as those Olympic boots were always there waiting in the wind. In this day and age this lesson you may not even practically experience due to current circumstance but it is something you must understand.

She watched most if not all my home rugby games at Imhoff which was convenient for her, she was always pitch side there to support and my school was always ready to accommodate her, which I will forever be grateful. (As if they had a choice). I know for sure if she could she would've loved to support anything you did.

This support went on from the field into life and Granny was always there checking things were ok. You will hear about that " private number" later. I didnt want a 21st birthday or any sort of fuss. Granny wouldn't have it, she did something and I had 2 or 3 friends at the table. Feel free to tell me there is no need for a fuss when your time comes, you'll understand why I do.

The thing about Granny is that once someone meets her through her kids or grand kids you become one of those kids. This ofcourse if the person wasn't " vol nonsense".

I recall one Easter before your mom moved to Johannesburg she was coming to visit me. Granny heard and politely asked her if she would be able to fly with some pickle fish, the usual " I hope its not a problem", " ek willie haar pla nie Lyall, is it ok" was a Granny saying. Let's be clear it was just a saying!!. Your mom flew with the fish but was clear if it spilt when she landed it wasn't coming out the overhead compartment. By the time you able to read this you would've heard that story I'm sure and would understand that context in relation to your mom.

I remember your Uncle Kyle and Matthew saying they just saw Granny, they went to the shop for her or they helped her with something at the house, Granny could call on anyone and they'd be happy to do it. Whenever I traveled to Cape Town I had to build a stop in for a visit with Granny, she had a vast and wide network. Just touch down and not see her she would know, then you would know. Just hope you figure it out that she knew before you spoke to her. I accept that my relationship may have not been any different than the relationships that Granny had with other family and friends, but the way we got on it felt different and that was Granny.

Always whispering to me, sharing stories, her thoughts and hearing all those classic sayings I will not hear again. She had that laugh that was silent, shook her whole body and you could see her teeth briefly, I'll miss that laugh. You won't remember it.

She had relationships with everyone she came in contact with. I listen to Gogo and Gum gum friends, my friends and the messages we receive from people, feel that she had relationships with them independent of ours and its a testament to her, that was Granny.

Your Granny loved you. You used to sit and let her push you on her walker. It was something you did everytime you saw each other and you loved it.

Some of the things you won't get to do with Granny:

Pricking those figs

Playing with the Christmas geese before "Christmas"

Seeing her watch your games or activities

Getting you and other families clothes at factory shops

Taking a picnic basket of food into a restaurant because it was cold outside.

All of which I did and may not have wanted to but what I would do to being doing those things now.

I know Granny had a long life, contributed to the liberation movement, did things we may never know about, met many important people, had lots of family, friends and acquaintances, touched countless others in different ways.

In the end she was just your Granny. She loved dominoes, card games and playing them with your uncle and aunts and definitely would've played with you.

At this point in time you may not notice she is gone but very soon when the world begins to see some normalcy I know that question will pop up and I will have to tell you something that I myself have not accepted yet.

You can see your relationship with Granny in pictures and that will tell you all you need to know about how she felt about you.